Nov 22

Gratitude and Adoption Intersect in November

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November is national adoption month that means that I get to speak to something that has fundamentally changed my life and share one of the most impactful decisions I’ve ever made.

When I started on the pathway to becoming a parent, it was with my proverbial ducks in a row and a (perceived) ideal situation for my future child. As it turns out, life had something different in store and it meant me facing one of my biggest fears at the time: meeting the birth parents! Yikes!!

There are multiple forms of adoption: open, closed, private, foster care. Also there are children up to 17 years of age who need a loving home and can be adopted. Once in a while I will read an article about a family who adopted a sibling group or had a successful adoption go through against all odds.

While those are all fascinating stories to read (and even better…to CELEBRATE!), I will save that part of my story for another day. The part I want to share has been what turned out to be one of the most important lessons I’ve been gifted to learn.

That lesson is this: Not every story of becoming a parent is the same but every story can be celebrated. I learned to put aside the fear of risking rejection by knowing the birth mom or dad, and in my case entire families on both birth parents’ sides. In return, I was gifted with the most amazing blessings short of becoming a parent. The blessings include being trusted enough to learn the family dynamics, where she came from and the values that are important to those families, medical history of family members, common traits and features. But the single most amazing blessing I was gifted with was grace.

While I do the best I can as a parent, I know there are other ways – and it is easy to offer thoughts and ideas. At no time have any of the {birth} family members been anything but supportive of me and the decisions I’ve made. For that, I am incredibly thankful. Regardless of the situation, my child’s birth family has supported us, shown love to our entire family, and has blessed us with the gift of more family.

In fact, we will spend the holidays together this year – something we did a few years ago too. And another member of my kiddo’s birth family stayed with us for a week over the 4th of July holiday this year. So in this month of November, when we can appreciate gratefulness and adoption awareness, I get to add “I’m grateful for birth families” to my list.

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